“I fell in love with a friend by correspondence, but I do not understand his intentions”
In social networks I communicate with a guy from Europe in English. Previously, there was a mutual attraction between us, we corresponded almost every day, dreamed of how great it would be to be nearby. Then he began to write less and less and disappeared for two weeks. I deleted it, and he added again. In December I was going to come to my birthday. I gently said that I will have exams, but I still want to see him. Communication has become less common, he did not congratulate on his birthday. Then I stopped answering messages, and I deleted it again. It was added back almost immediately. I decided to put an end and ignored its request for almost 2 months. But as a result, she could not stand it and made contact. Now we are occasionally corresponded, he also says tender things from time to time. While continues to periodically disappear. All this is exhausting, but I really like the guy, I don’t want to lose him. I’m still afraid that if the real meeting takes place, I will disappoint him and myself the level of colloquial English.
Try to stop playing virtual games. Look, now people have replaced normal communication and normal clarification of relations with the game with statuses and “deleted-dubbed”.
You talked a lot and warmth, then something went wrong, he stopped writing and appearing on your monitor. This means that you can clarify what is happening, ask a normal question, but not to remove in silence. What is this person in the list of friends? Removing is a manipulation, it is always an attempt to attract attention, so why not do it directly and openly?
Not even their own birthdays are important for all people, not to mention other people’s birthdays. If the family did not attach special significance to this, if it was not customary to congratulate each other, a person can simply consider it unimportant. Perhaps you and the guy have a completely different perception of your communication, he may well correspond with several people. In addition, he may have limited material resources. He can fantasize about how he will come to visit you, but is there a real opportunity to do it?
Do not be afraid to disappoint him with your English, I am sure that the level of ownership
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is enough to express yourself. Try to look at the situation as follows: there is a person whom you do not understand very well, who does not seem to do not really value the development of relationships, but also does not want to lose you as an interlocutor. Do not attribute to yourself any mistakes that have influenced what is happening. Some people live like this, they play intimacy, but at the same time they never come to real contact.
You like him, you are always ready to talk and write to him, but perhaps he is quite enough for the amount of communication that is now. These are not differences in relation to you, these are the differences of his energy in general. It is more for communication, then less. It does not look like he is making serious joint plans. Perhaps the development of personal relations for him is now not at all priority.